Dad's Amazing Pork Steaks

My Awesome Dad- aka Jerry Hess, Jer Bear, Grampie, Gramps.  

Meet my Dad.  He is famous in the Hess family for his booming voice, his master math skills, his great big bear hugs, his soups/stews and his amazing Pork Steaks! If we head to "the cabin"- my parent's home- we always request Dad's pork steaks and Mom's mashed potatoes.   

My parents grew up in St. Louis where BBQ pork steak is a staple. It is a cheaper cut of meat (great for large families or those on a tight budget) and pretty easy to prepare.  When my parents want to feed a crowd (my family), or entertain, this is often the go-to meal.  

When they first moved to MN (and now to WI), it was tricky to find this "cheaper" cut of meat so they would have to go to a butcher to find it- but now you can find it at most grocery stores.  

We have asked Dad over the years to tell us just how he makes them.  Of course his response has always been - it's no secret- just add a little of this and a little of that.  They're easy.  

Uh Huh- thanks Dad!

Well- my girls and I were on a mission to capture the 'little bit of this and that' in the hopes that someday we might try to make them.  And we wanted to capture the master at work.  We apologize in advance -Dad was only somewhat cooperative- he kept doing steps while the photographer was in the house- but we captured enough to give it a shot.  (You can only boss around a 73 yr. old so much!- especially this particular 73 yr. old!)

The line-up: BBQ sauces, Worcestershire sauce, beer, garlic salt, black pepper, & white pepper 

He snuck in a couple more:  Ground Thyme, and this yummy seasoning mix- looks like it includes chives, basil, chervil, tarragon white pepper and parsley.  However I think you could just add your favorite herbs.

Here is the delicious PORK STEAK- can also be called Pork butt, pork shoulder or Boston Butt -you can find it at many grocery stores- OR, Go to your butcher and pick out a Pork shoulder/butt – commonly called Boston Butt.  Then ask him/her to slice it into ¾”-1" steaks.  Your traditional boston butt will be transformed into St. Louis style Pork Steaks. 

Begin by searing the steaks, over high heat, for some great grill marks - just a brief time on each side.

Then turn the meat the opposite direction when turning back over to make crosshatch marks.  Cook for approx. 8-10 minutes on the first side (high heat -450*-500*).  (I bet in a pinch, you could also cook over med/high heat on the stove.)

While you are grilling, you can drizzle on a bit of beer on each steak. Dad used a dark ale (Lienenkugel's) this time- but you can use any one you prefer.

Also, season with garlic salt and black pepper. 

looking great!- turn over, season again and grill other side for approx. 8-10 minutes

In the meantime prep your BBQ sauce- this is where maverick shows up- sorry!  No measuring for this man- just add what you think is right (by look/smell/taste as you go).  Add white pepper, thyme, a bit from the seasoning packet, worcestershire sauce, beer, BBQ sauces.

Stir it all together and taste.

Add more of the ingredients until you think the mix is right.  Sample until it's delicious!

Stir again.  You will want enough to mostly cover the meat as it cooks.  Dad filled about half the pot.  

Delicious!!!  Ready for the meat!

Once all the steaks are cooked,

Place the steaks in your prepared BBQ concoction

And be patient

Place cover on pan and cook over med heat (simmering around 350 *) for approx. 20 min.  Just steal a bite to check if it's done.  Also- If you would prefer to finish this in the oven, that works too!

When ready the meat is falling off the bone and oh so yummy!  Enjoy!!!

I LOVE YOU TOO DAD!

A WILD RIDE

We have much to rejoice for this week!  We give all glory and honor and praise to our Lord!

At LONG last (after13 months of WAITING post interim adoption decree) we were able to file our i600 application at the US Embassy in Ghana!!           

THANK YOU SO MUCH LORD!!!

Also, Jay was able to spend some special time with Joy! and got to see her school etc. - It was good to see a slice of her life currently and to take some pictures so that she will have these treasures in the future.  

But this week has been one wild ride! Is it really only Wednesday?  And by the way- I do NOT particularly enjoy wild rides!  I am more of a "It's a Small World" ride type of a girl.  In fact, I have gotten into many arguments with friends over the years when they have tried to talk me into/force me into going on crazy rides!!! 

However- I am learning that Faith often(always??) requires us to step out of our comfort zones and just hang on tight to our Father no matter what ride we are on.  In His arms- we are safe- it may not feel great, may in fact be gut-wrenching and terrifying but He holds us and carries us through.  He equips us with His presence and His peace and His power to get through. (After all- He already knows just what we need). And in the end- it is worth it! He knows the amazing place He wants to take us, the refining that needs to happen in us, the lives we will touch and be touched by along the way, and the perfect way to get there.  He loves us so well!!

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

For those who want specifics from yesterday and today:  Yesterday, Jay had a busy day with Joy and then said goodbye (for now) and headed back to Accra.  He then met with our POA only to find out that in fact, the essential Birth Certificate was unable to be found at the Passport office and that he would go the following day to try again(um- we have the Embassy appt. then- how will that work?).  We decided this not likely to happen.  Plan B was not to waste time tracking down that copy but to get a new one. Needless to say- we did not sleep well! SO- Our POA went super early to get a new one, then came to meet with Jay right before today's appointment-but- NO birth certificate!  The official stamps/seals still needed to be done so it would not be ready until later in the afternoon.  WHAT?!!!! (Remember we have been waiting 13 long emotional months for today!)

 Poor Jay- He really hates calling me with bad news!  And he has had to do it so many times this past year- pretty much weekly!! 

One more time- Honey...

Let's just say that thankfully, early on in my emotional mamma-bear rant, the Holy Spirit told me to shut up and send Jay off to the Embassy with encouragement (at least I hope I sounded encouraging!).  But we both had heavy hearts knowing that he could be turned away- and our filing might be postponed- AGAIN.  

A HUGE thank you to all those friends who prayed for us and helped us focus on Who our Father is and that He can do all things!  

And a HUGE praise for the super nice lady who did in fact help Jay get all in order and file our paperwork! She also set up an appointment for Friday morning for our POA to deliver the Birth Certificate (which we received at the end of the day- hooray!!). 

Here are some gems from Jay's time with Joy:

Joy shows daddy how to grind Cassava plant to make Fufu.

Our hungry caterpillar- who eats and eats and eats.
She loves her Jolof Rice and Chicken! 

Showing Daddy the audiobook we sent her "Under the Same Moon."  

Joy supervised Daddy's art project


Yep- It's all worth it!   

A great day!

Monday

Today Jay traveled to Cape Coast safely and spent a great day with Joy! We have been able to FaceTime a lot and I was able to catch the rest of the crew during lunch hours so they could connect with Joy too.  Sweet moments!  We are so thankful for the technology that pulls that far away place right up close.  I love watching Joy interact with her siblings- her face lights up -extra bright! And the kiddos grin at/treasure each adorable thing she does and says.  It makes for big smiles and fun all around! And many tender/special moments of bonding.  Joy loves to show and tell- her stickers, her outfit, her food, her socks etc. and wants us to show her everything here- her room, the cat, the dog, her bed, her clothes, the bathroom etc. We have been doing a lot of 'touring the house'!  One of the sweetest moments of our  FaceTime conversations was when she wanted daddy to read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to me and Emily (she and Andrew were home sick). She made sure we saw every page.  LOVE!    Here are a few gems:

Tomorrow Jay will travel back to Accra and get everything ready for his Wed. appointment. Thank you for continuing to pray!

Answers to Prayer

Just a quick update to let you know answers to prayer- Thank you for praying!

Saturday/Sunday:

*Jay arrived safely in Ghana- all connections were made (by the skin of his teeth due to bad weather delays in MPLS!)

*Luggage made it too!  Hooray for trail mix and granola bars and caffeine free diet coke - along with all the necessary stuff.

*He was able to catch some pretty good rest on the plane.

*Met with our POA and received original court documents (although still awaiting one item that should be ready Tuesday.) Look to be spelled correctly etc.- hooray!

*Driver lined up for all Cape Coast travel to/from and during stay- so thankful!

Our hearts are in Ghana

Our hearts are flying to Ghana today

Jay is headed to Ghana today (arrives tomorrow)! 

While there, he will gather all remaining necessary documents, spend time with Joy!, and file our i600 at the Embassy in Ghana!  Hooray!!  It is hard to believe he was in country just a month ago.  This will be a whirlwind trip with a lot of stressful unknowns, so please keep him in your prayers over the next week.  

How can you specifically pray each day?  Here are the specifics (I will underline the bullets):

Saturday- Jay leaves for Ghana-  we pray for safe flights (and making his tight connections!!  RST-MSP-JFK-ACCRA)- we are praying his luggage gets safely on each plane.  (All the precious paperwork will be with him at all times ;0) by order of Mommy Homme).  Good sleep on the plane would be a huge blessing- it has been quite the stressful week of prepping to leave with such short notice.

Sunday- Jay arrives in Ghana and will stay in Accra the first night.  He will meet with our POA and get all the remaining court documents from him (we are praying that everything will be accurate-without spelling errors, etc.) 

Monday- Jay will head to Cape Coast to spend precious time with Joy- we have no idea what transportation he will use so we are praying for a budget-friendly, safe and timely ride (a 3 hour trip).  He will stay overnight in Cape Coast.  (And we would LOVE to be able to have the kids face-time with Joy- with time differences this may be over school lunchtimes- we pray for good internet connection)

Tuesday- Jay will spend time with Joy and then he will head back to Accra.   We are praying for sweet time with Joy, and strength in the saying goodbye (for now).  Again, we have no idea what transportation he will use so please pray for his safety!!(Driving over there is a bit dicey to say the least.)

Wednesday-  1:30pm INTERVIEW AT THE EMBASSY to file our i600 papers!!  (8:30am Rochester time)  

Thursday- Jay will have a day of tying up loose ends, shopping, and leaving Accra to fly HOME.  

We pray for safe flights, connections, sleep, and that he would feel the Lord's amazing love and strength - it is so hard to leave a daughter behind- for now.

Friday- Hooray- Jay comes HOME!!

Thank you for praying for us and loving us so well!!!

Embassy- next step in the Journey

Jay and Joy- August 2014

Step One:  Pass Court (in Ghana) and receive permission for Joy to leave country.  Completed! Permission granted Sept. 8th- more than a year after we passed court!!  Hooray!!! Hooray!! Hooray!!!  We praise the Lord!!

Step Two: US Embassy in Ghana- we are finally on our way!  Jay will be submitting our paperwork for I600 approval in Ghana. Please pray for his travel to Ghana (work coverage, hotels, safe flight), for his embassy interview to go well and for all paperwork to be completed and accurate (no spelling errors etc. that would delay the process).  For a great visit with Joy! 

**Jay will travel Sept. 20th-26th.  His appointment is scheduled for Wednesday Sept. 24th!

Step Three:  US Consulate in Ghana (Visa, Medicals etc.)

Step Four:  Bring home our girl!

Momma's Perspective

 Daddy and Joy

She's a sweetie!

AND she's spunky!  A true Homme Clan kiddo!

I am so thankful for my sweet and capable hubby! And I am so thankful for all of the prayer and support from all of you.  I experienced such peace during Jay's time away and felt so much love from my kids and friends.  Thank you!!

I wanted to take the opportunity to brag on my hubby a bit.  He tends to be so hard on himself (you can probably tell by his posts).  So I wanted to share the things I witnessed via phone calls, Face Time, etc.

One of the things I admire about my man is his ability to see a child- really see their heart- and put them at ease.  To draw them out of moods, fear, shyness and reassure them in their struggles and pain.      I got to be the fly on the wall so to speak and watch this happen with our daughter Joy.  We have been having regular phone calls and bonding with her on a weekly basis and we have seen her heart open up and connect with us more and more.  But it is a whole new ball game when you are trying to bond on foreign turf without any back up (and under the microscope- everyone is watching and evaluating you).  While it was so hard and at times exhausting and discouraging- I wanted to show you a glimpse of the wins!!  What I saw was a fragile child become more relaxed and confident in her caregiver, bonds of trust, and unconditional love- a child who grinned from ear to ear when she was connecting with us and with Jay.  We also got to do a lot of face- time and gave Joy bonding time with siblings (and me!) - having longer everyday, sometimes silly conversations(she and Andrew liked to eat meat at the same time and show each other their ABC food and show each other toys), seeing our house, her room, the cat, the dog (all highlights for her!).  Anyone who has watched the TBRI videos (Trust Based methods to connect with hurting/fragile children by Karen Purvis) knows that things that seem so little (making eye contact, holding hands, verbalizing needs, talking about past hurts, etc.) are really huge steps toward having a connected parent/child relationship. By the end of the few days she was conquering fears- even bravely touching the water in the pool! And shields came down emotionally We saw the real Joy emerging and flourishing.

Now for the fun- here are some great pictures so far (thank you iCloud!!!!)

 SO PROUD OF JOY- (she touched the water for the first time!  She has been talking about "Justo" and Andrew going in the pool with her, but has been super afraid of the water -a fire alarm sounded while we were near it last year)

She wants to touch the water but isn't too sure

Hmmm

She did it!!  So proud of my brave girl- and my awesome hubby for helping her through this fear.

My beautiful daughter!  Andrew say's she is better than a rose.  Yes she is!!

So thankful for you all!!
Becky

Saturday's Greeting from Ghana

Okay, you've created a monster.  So many of you have sent nice comments, words of encouragement and wisdom that I've developed a Pavlovian conditioned response to writing these updates.  In fact, I just had to wipe some saliva off the iPad (j/k).

I'll really go for brevity (if possible) but I realized today that as someone who has never been good at journaling these updates will likely serve me better than my memory often does as I think back on these days here in Ghana and especially the time with Joy.

I fell asleep full of optimism last night but awoke to a frowney-faced 4 year old at 5:40 and figured I was in for another day of walking on the edge of her emotions.

Much of the morning was dodging meltdowns or trying to console her through them.  I've the picture of her standing at the door crying and refusing to turn around etched in my mind (since it's poor form as a parent to actually take a picture at that time).  Eventually soft words and offers to hold her were accepted.

Things started to look up considerably after tummy's were full (her's first, then mine) and we went outside for some walks and to watch people play tennis.  For those who have a mental picture of what a trip to AFRICA is like that involves wild animals running around and the like, Accra (the Capitol city of Ghana) is several million strong and filled with traffic, loud noise, and friendly people (but no elephants as far as I can tell).

We enjoyed a short outing to a local market so I could quickly scoop up some trinkets for the family.  Having Joy in toe really sped up my shopping technique.  For those who have been to this particular market with me before (Becky, Jim, Dad, Malinda, and a few others I'm sure) you're constantly "encouraged" by the locals to come into their shop (basically a bunch of wooden shacks attached to each-other) and haggling is expected.  I like to look around for a while (and have become pretty immune to the barrage of shopkeepers) but today I got right to it and my Ghanian friend who accompanied us paid me the complement of saying that my bargaining prowess made me "more Ghanian than him."

SO MUCH FOR BREVITY .....

A big shout out to my lovely bride of nearing 20 years.  Today is Becky's 41st Birthday and she's more beautiful and precious to me than ever.  We figured that this is the first birthday of hers that we haven't spent together in over 22 years.  We were able to FaceTime twice and the first session was pretty early in the morning back home so Joy and I were actually the first to wish her Happy Birthday and sing to her.  Joy's disposition really took a nice upturn after speaking to and seeing Mommy for the first time today and stayed pretty solid through the second FaceTime session later in our afternoon.  We were blessed by technology to now actually have our first FULL FAMILY PICTURE (see attached below) as the screen capture capabilities of the iPad and iPhone allowed all 8 of us to have some portion of our faces viewable in one image (probably will be the Christmas card this year despite being a bit blurry).

I'd like to say that I've figured out the keys to success with Joy but alas I'm sure that will take more time and devotion.  A few milestones today included actually getting close enough to the swimming pool to touch the water with one hand (she's been very afraid in the past), a silly face session (see attached example), finding someone else to take a photo of us (rather than every duo picture being only from the distance of my arm's length (we thought Joy's arm length would be too short), and my sweet girl snuggling up next to me and falling asleep with my arm around her as I read her the first chapter from Winne-the-Pooh (brilliant writing in my view as a father and Pediatrician, truly captures what I imagine the mind of a young child thinks -- read it slowly if you somehow haven't yet).

I'm saddened that Joy will be heading back to Cape Coast tomorrow- I will miss her immensely and we'll have to go back to our FaceTime-less weekly phone calls (which we treasure but just aren't the same).  I am happy that I'll be heading home as I miss you all (especially my crew).  I look forward to seeing everyone and I'll have more stories, pictures, etc... to share so feel free to pretend to not see me if I'm heading in your direction and make a quick escape.

If all goes well in the courts (I guess that would be a first for us, sorry, a little cynicism just slipped out there) we may have the necessary document by the end of this month such that I can make a quick return trip to file everything with the U.S. Embassy to start that (long) process for getting Joy a Visa/passport to bring her home at long last.  More to come on that front........

Again, a sincere thanks to all of you as you either processed this multifaceted journey with me or possibly just learned how to set your auto-delete e-mail functionality ;-).

For the residents - I guess it will soon be back to my typical boring program director e-mails -- but they have to be better than the stuff MSGME is always sending out (don't tell).

For the rest following us on this adoption journey I will relinquish the rightful post of updater back to the blog queen Becky Homme.

Signing off,
-Jay

Friday's Greeting from Ghana

I promise to make this one short and sweet and will attach a couple pictures.

The day started out early (about 5:30) with Joy tapping me and indicating that she "had to go wee-wee" - which seemed like a very reasonable request.  We were up for good by 6:15(sleeping in for me by home standards but remember that Ghana is currently 5 hours ahead so that feels a lot like getting up at 1:15 which is early even for me).

Much of the day Joy was quite somber and I think her four year old brain was vacillating between being upset with me because I wasn't taking her home and looking to me as her source for comfort (which I suspect for her was odd because as best I can gather she doesn't spend time around men).  My wife gave me some very good encouragement and also reminded me that this was an opportunity for Joy to learn that she could express to me any feeling and it would be returned with love and compassion - laying more groundwork for the future.

We (or mostly I) enjoyed a short afternoon distraction in the form of visiting the dental clinic of a friend here in Ghana (a very nice place with modern equipment and high levels of customer service).  This was the clinic that sent most of their staff for BLS training this week so we had a nice group photo that will show up in their next newsletter.

The highlight of the day came toward the end when, in our new room with substantially better wifi signal strength, we had some good FaceTime sessions with family back home (Aunt/Uncle/Cousins; Mommy, and siblings).  It was with Becky and the kids that Joy finally caved and let out many smiles and hammed it up for them in the way I knew she could.  She's sleeping peacefully now and I'm praying for even more steps forward tomorrow.  I'm definitely strengthening my bonds with this spunky, determined, wonderful little girl (even is she's not consistently fond of me right now -- probably a preview of the teenage years ;-) ).

One more thing, I'll admit that I stooped to some classical American parenting tactics today -- using the iPad for a few games and yes we watched Frozen together.  I don't think Joy knew what to make of all that white stuff on the ground everywhere -- she better get used to it since she'll be a Minnesotan.

So much for short..............

You are all important to me and I appreciate you taking the time to read my ramblings.

Jay